11/22/2024 Not my Time!

 "I don't even know how to start this!  So I will just write what I feel.  I could be dead!  I feel like I am just returning to the real world from some weird alternative universe.  Since we got back from our trip to Spain I have been feeling increasingly more and more tired every day.  Taking a shower was almost beyond my level of energy.  After my morning shower I would collapse in my chair in the living room.  In about 10-20 minutes I would find enough energy to make my breakfast and do my dishes.  Then it was time for a 1-2 hour nap."  

I started this post in November and never finished it - Mostly because I was too tired and the whole experience felt too raw.  We got back from our trip on Oct 30 and I thought I was experiencing severe jet lag.  But instead of feeling better after time - I just felt worse each day.  I had scheduled a appointment with my doctor for something else before we left on the trip in September.  So I didn't call her - I just emailed her my symptoms and she said to come in as scheduled on Nov 14. 

A few days before the appointment, my left arm started to really ache.  It got to the point I could not lay on it.  The morning of November 14 I looked in the mirror after my shower and was alarmed to see my arm from the elbow to the shoulder was all black and blue.  It looked like someone had beat up my upper arm!

Later in the afternoon at my appointment ( I drove to it), we talked about my symptoms, then I showed her my arm.  She said, "I think you have a blood clot!"  From then on everything was a rush.  She had her assistant find me an appointment within an hour to get an ultrasound on my arm.  I left the appointment feeling numb and bewildered.  I managed to plug in the address of where I needed to go in my gps and drove there.  They took me in immediately.  

The young women who did the ultrasound was kind and she kept saying - oh your veins are so beautiful.  I can see everything.  this is great - I can see everything.  And she kept talking like that the entire time of the test.  After the test I said - so everything is great, right?  Her answer was - go to the waiting room, I need to call your doctor and she will tell you what to so. Even I in my brain fog world knew something was wrong.  It felt like everyone who worked in the office was starring at me.  Finally, the technician comes out and tells me I can leave.  She has talked to my doctor and she will call me.

I leave the office and go to my car.  I sit there - will my doctor call me now?  Finally I decide to leave.  I barely pull out of the parking lot when my phone rings.  There is another parking lot across the street.  I go there and park.  My doctors instructions are - go home.  Call your husband and have him drive you to an emergency room.  I cant think - where is an emergency room.  She gives me an address.  I stay there and call my husband.  He is in an important business meeting.  He answers the call because I never call him when he is working unless it is important.  

I go home.  It will take my husband more time to get home.  I have time to call by surgeon - I was supposed to have surgery on my right hand in a week - so I cancel it - and cry.  This is serious.  I look up the address on google maps - so I know where to go.  Hubby gets home - needs to do a few things and then we head for the emergency room.

If you have ever been to an emergency room - you will know how long everything takes.  There is a very young girl who seems to have some bone in the wrong place.  She is crying loudly and often.  Her mother is trying to distract her - she is there a long time.  There are other children there - but they are all quiet.  I am called back for multiple tests one at a time and in between back in the waiting room, where that poor girl is still crying.   Finally they tell me I have a blood clot - and it is very large - I am now in status urgent care - but they have no beds - so back to the waiting room.  When I got this information I heard that young girl across the hall - she was finally being seen.

 Finally they have a room ready for me - I think it was 5 or 6 hours after arriving.  I am immediately put on heparin drip.  This is supposed to break up the clot.  The ER doctor says the clot goes from my elbow up my shoulder, across my chest and stops just before my heart.  I can't take it in.  Michael asks if he should go home and come back in the morning.  The ER doc - says NO, stay with her.  So, because they had no beds available at the hospital, we both stayed the night at the ER.  

At around 6am I am put onto an ambulance (it is a an IV medicine and it is required to use an ambulance to be moved)  and transported the the hospital.  My husband goes home to shower and have breakfast.  I meet my roommate who has so many problems and is miserable.  Hey - I am just extremely tired and don't want to talk to anyone.  

So I am on the proper medication and stabilized.  I am no longer actively dying - so the nurses don't care much about me.  They react to those who might die at any moment -that is not me now.  I can't take a shower as I have multiple iv's in my hand.  I need to wash my hair but I can't for 3 days.  I just want out of the hospital.  But the hospital Doc wants multiple tests to be sure I will I survive.  

I like that - but I am miserable - my roommate likes Spanish game shows that are loud and obnoxious.  I just want quiet.  Finally the doc comes and says I can go home. I am put on Eliquis.  I choose my Medicare drug plan in October and this was not a consideration then.  How much will it cost?  Turns out it will not be horrible.  So I go home to recover

We have a trip planned to Malesia for March. We decide to cancel it as I am expected to be on Eliquis for 3 - 6 months.  And we don't know when the clot will resolve.  But then - hey - I had an appointment with the vascular department in February 17 - and they said the clot was gone!  Apparently it had clotted very quickly.  Except I have been told there is damage to the veins on the left side of my chest - where the veins do not collapse as they should - they are very stiff.  And that may be a problem in the future - it is more likely that a clot will form there again.

So we have a planned trip to Sweden in May - that is the timeframe I am posting this post - and we will see what happens.  This blog is for me as a diary as well as to connect with friends and family.  So the next post will be about our trip to Sweden.